Silent No More: Morgan’s Brave Statement Against Her Abuser

On February 21, 2018, a court imposed a nearly five-and-a-half year sentence on Jordan David Baird for six pedophilia felony convictions.

His charges all involved using his position as a worship leader and youth pastor at The Life Church in Manassas, Virginia, to sexually solicit and molest a young girl soon after her sixteenth birthday. (See, Sexual Predation and Pedophilia at The Life Church in Manassas, Virginia.)

Jordan Baird also is the son of that church’s senior pastor, David Baird.

At the sentencing hearing, his victim (now 19 years old) took the stand. While looking directly at Jordan David Baird, she gave a powerful impact statement.

With her permission, we are posting Morgan’s statement (she also gave us permission to use her name) to encourage and embolden other survivors of sexual abuse at The Life Church – and elsewhere – to likewise find their voice and tell their stories.

We are simultaneously posting the equally powerful victim impact statement given at the same hearing by her mom. (See, A Mom Confronts The Life Church and Her Daughter’s Abuser.)

If you were abused at The Life Church by Jordan Baird or anyone else, or have information relevant to such abuse, please contact the Supervisor of the Special Victims Bureau with the Prince William County Police at 703-792-6508.

Those specially trained investigators have been incredibly sensitive and helpful to others who have come forward, and as of this writing both Mr. Baird and the The Life Church continue to be the subject of open, ongoing investigations.

If desired, someone from Nathan’s Voice can go with you to provide caring support in talking to investigators, and otherwise assist you, so you don’t feel isolated or alone.


Silent No More

Spoken in open court by Morgan, age 19, to Jordan David Baird of The Life Church, who started abusing her just after she turned 16:

I’ve thought about what I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time, and quite honestly I still don’t really have the words.

You kept me silent for a year and a half and I want you to know, you no longer have the power to keep me silent any longer. This is MY story and I will use it to help other victims feel brave, confident, empowered, and for them to know that they are not alone in this like you made me feel for so long.

This is not your story. Your story begins when you fully repent and begin your journey with the Lord in healing from your past. Then you may share your story of how God restored you and healed you, but until you fully take responsibility for your actions and truly repent, you have no story. You will only have shame and guilt until
then.

I pray you find your story but this one is mine.

You manipulated me into believing this was all my fault, that I was the one in love with you, that I did something wrong, that I liked the things you would say and do to me, that I was all alone and that I could never tell a soul because no one would believe me over you.

I’ve asked myself so many times why I didn’t come forward after the first sexually explicit message or the first time you touched me. And I’ve come to this conclusion, because you made me believe lie after lie. I felt scared, shameful, guilty, and dirty. I felt like I was the one who would be punished.

Lies, all lies.

You know exactly what you did to me, you do and I do. And even if you never admit out loud, it doesn’t matter because God knows and He believes me.

You are a master at deceiving people, you put on this façade that people have believed for far too long. And quite honestly, aren’t you just tired of living a lie? Wasn’t it hard keeping up your multiple lives, keeping all your lies to your wife and family straight? Making sure everything you ever did was covered up? It’s not supposed to be this way, and it’s time to stop.

As we sit here in this court room, I look around at all the faces. Faces of people who used to call me family, people who I thought had my best intention, people like yourself in whom I had complete trust. And what do my family and I get in return? We get lied about, backs completely turned, and abandoned by what was once our community.

And what do you get?

You get support from the church, you get praised about how your marriage is what “true love” looks like, and you get every single one of my old friends to defend you.

I never wanted to be here, I never wanted to see you in handcuffs and a jumpsuit. I never wanted to “destroy” The Life Church or the Baird family. I never wanted to get in between you and your wife and daughter. I never wanted to lose my friends or everything I worked hard for at the church. I never wanted to leave. I never wanted to publicly humiliate you or your family. And I never wanted this to happen to me.

All I wanted was to tell the truth, to get help for myself, for you to get the help that you needed and most importantly an apology from you for what you did to me.

You took my innocence away as a sixteen year old child. You took away my care free attitude and my fearlessness that I could do anything I wanted to, because I never once before in my life had a reason to be scared, until you.

I still have yet to receive any kind of remorse or apology from you, and I’ve had to come to terms that I might not ever. But honestly, that doesn’t hurt me, it only hurts you.

You have to live the rest of your life knowing that you had the opportunity from the beginning to come clean, do the right thing and move forward. But you didn’t, you did the exact opposite and ran away like a coward. Not admitting to your actions and just re-victimizing me every time you wouldn’t just acknowledge what happened.

I will walk away from this courthouse knowing I did exactly what the Lord called me to do. Knowing I can completely move on from this with nothing holding me back.

I said to myself from the beginning that the outcome of this trial would not affect how I would live the rest of my life. Because whether or not you served the time you deserved, you will still live in a prison the rest of your life in your lies until you come clean. But I, however, will be able to sleep at night because I did nothing but tell the truth.

My prayer for you, Jordan, is that you never ever do what you did to me to another human being ever again. That you learned what you needed to from this, and that you truly are forgiven by God and move on from this stronger than you were before.

I pray that you come clean to your wife who seems love you because she deserves to know what you’ve done behind closed doors. I pray for your daughter, [name withheld], that you become a true man.

No real man ever touches another man’s daughter for his own pleasure, especially a man’s daughter who he was entrusted with. And I pray that [your daughter] never ever experiences what I experienced with you.

I know you want the best for her, so be that for her. Become better for HER.

She needs a real father. And most importantly I pray for all the other girl’s you’ve hurt. You know exactly who they are, and I pray that they don’t have to go through what I went through just to speak their truth and find their freedom. I pray you apologize to them and ask for forgiveness from them.

And as for me, I promised myself that I would share this pain and triumph so that other girl’s would not have to experience what I have. To prevent this from happening to anyone else if I can help it.

I’ve spent night after night crying out to God asking Him, “Why ME?”, and I’ve come to this conclusion. God would never cause this to happen to me, but He did allow it. And if it had to happen to me because He knew I would be the one strong enough to speak up and put an end to this then I’m honored to have been entrusted by God with this challenge.

This was all worth going through, even if it saved one other girl from being abused by you in the future.

You picked the wrong girl to mess with, and God knew that.

Your act is up, all the scheming and manipulating is over for you Jordan. So thank you for picking me, for showing me just how strong and brave I really am.

Thank you for giving me my story that I can now use to help set others free.

Thank you for empowering me to stand up and fight for something worth fighting for.

Thank you for this season because through this I’ve been able to see just how good God really is. That He has never left me and never will. That weeping endures for the night, but joy always comes in the morning.

I am more sure today then I ever have been that God is who He says He is, and that He goes before me I even when I don’t know that He’s gone forward to fight my war. That He is my greatest defender. And when I couldn’t speak up for myself, He always did.

And most importantly, I forgive you.

Even though you didn’t ask for it I will always freely forgive you because that’s what Jesus does. He forgives even the greatest of sins and He calls us to forgive and even to love our enemies. And I ask that you would forgive me for any pain that I may have caused you and your family.

I forgive you, but I will not forget. I will use my story to help others, because His word says that we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the power of our testimony. I am an overcomer.

What the enemy thought would take me out, actually just made me stronger. And the day that he whispered in my ear that I wasn’t strong enough to withstand the storm, I whispered back and said, “I am the storm.”

~ Morgan


Related Documents:

A Mom Confronts The Life Church and Her Daughter’s Abuser

Sexual Predation and Pedophilia at The Life Church in Manassas, Virginia

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